Hello, there. I’m Richard Osman. Welcome along to a brand-new week on
House Of Games. You know how it works by now. I have four famous faces in the
studio. At the end of the week, the famous
face who has the most points takes away this extraordinary
trophy. Who are our players this week? Let’s meet them, shall we?
They are Gareth Malone… Hello. ..Jamelia… Hi! ..Paul Martin… ..and Susan Calman. This looks like a nice line-up! Mmm. I mean, listen, you’ll be at each
other’s throats within days but…
We love each other at the moment. I know. I mean, literally, I will
play that back to you on Wednesday and we’ll see where
we are. Gareth, welcome along. Are you a quizzer? I do like a quiz. I like a
challenge, yeah. Oh, do you? So you’re going to do
well this week? I’m quite competitive. Oh, perfect. Yeah. I’ll be very sad if I lose. Oh, this is music to my ears. Given that three people will lose,
I love it when people are sad if they lose. Besides,
it makes great television. I’m not going to pretend.
I’m just going to look cross. Can we do a close-up on Gareth’s
face at all times, please? That’d be useful. Jamelia, welcome
along. How are you? Oh, I’m really, really excited
to be here. Are you confident, though?
Absolutely not. Hey! Even better. Not at all, not at all. But it’s about taking part, which is not what I tell my kids.
You’ve got to win. Oh, yeah, it’s definitely not about
taking part. No. It’s not. It’s about this bad boy. Exactly. Taking of this bad boy, Paul Martin,
what would that fetch on “Flog It!”? Do you think it is…? Oh, you couldn’t put a price on
that, could you? I mean, do you know what? You’re absolutely right.
You really couldn’t. It would be…
I want to go home with it, though! Oh, it’s great. It’s cardboard
covered with aluminium. It’s lovely. Real plastic silver? Real plastic silver. You can have a little flick of it
and listen to it. That’s the way you tell how good
metal is. It should ring. I mean, it doesn’t… ..is what I’ll say to you. Paul, at the end of the week,
someone’s winning that. But, at the end of every day,
somebody also takes home a prize. Shall we take a look at Monday’s
prizes? Sure, let’s have a look. Whoever wins today will get their
choice of these. There is House Of Games smoking
jacket… ..House Of Games shower curtain…
JAMELIA LAUGHS ..there’s the towel, there’s the
bread bin… ..and there’s the playing cards as
well. You HAVE to take one of them. Shower curtain! You’re going shower curtain?
Love the shower curtain. I mean, I wouldn’t. But, listen,
it’s your business. Susan, how lovely to have you here.
Hello. Now, you are competitive, as well,
I think. Er, I mean, it’s a deep
psychological thing. As a child, I don’t feel
I succeeded, and in my adult years I’m attempting
to make up for that by winning various trophies on
television quiz shows. Like shower curtains with my face
on it? No, the smoking… It has to be
the smoking jacket. Yeah. You would look amazing
in the smoking jacket. I can see me, with a pipe,
in my house, smoking jacket, one of those globes
that’s a bar. Oh, what a picture you paint! Being the time-traveller I was
always meant to be. Listen, shall we quiz? Yeah. Shall we get on, see who’s
competitive, who’s not? See who can get answers, who can’t. Every time I press this,
a new game comes up. Our first game this week is going
to be… Oh, no. Right. I’m going to ask you… What was that reaction from you? I play this at home
and, you know what? It’s so obvious when the answer
comes up but it’s really difficult to get.
Yeah. It’s just going to be such a long
week, isn’t it? Yeah. Two questions, the answers rhyme
with each other. Shall we do this? Good luck at home as well. Here are
your first two questions. The answers rhyme. That is Susan. Brian May and… Oh… It’s gone. I’ve ruined it already!
Sorry, I have to time you out. You don’t lose a point, though. Anyone else? Gareth Malone? Brian May, Independence Day.
Oh, you idiot. Well done, Gareth. Right, that’s it. That’s it.
Gloves are off. Right, come on, Calman.
Come on, Calman. Next question. Jamelia? I know the second one but I don’t
know the first one. Well, welcome to the rules. OK. I’m going to say… Can I say
the second one first? Can I say Mis-Teeq first?
If you do… Oh, do, by all means! You can say it! Go for it! You’re sitting in a row of people,
all of whom know the first one. I kind of know the first one. OK. Jonathan Creek? Oh, it’s the right answer!
Is that right? Well done. Sorry, this is the level of
excitement I’m going to have
cos I’m not confident. The disappointment on everyone
else’s faces when they realised you
knew the first one. They’re all sitting there, going, “I know it’s Johnathan Creek,
but who’s the band?” Next question. Susan?
Erin Brockovich, Novak Djokovic. There we go! Come on! There we go. Hats off. Very nice. There we are. She’s off! It’s lovely to say, as well.
Yes, it is. Erin Brockovich, Novak Djokovic. Well done. Next question. Who is this? And what is this? That is Jamelia. Anna Friel, Ferris wheel. Well done. Oh, my gosh! Well done. Next question. Oh, this is tricky. Jamelia? I’m actually just doing a service
to whoever may know the first one cos I don’t know it. I don’t think any of us know.
No, we don’t. Oh, no! OK, Yogi Bear and… Oh, hold on! SUSAN: I know, I know, I know!
I know! I don’t know the first one. You’ll have to wait for Jamelia to
be timed out. Yogi Bear and… ..the, I don’t know,
Mistress of Bel Air? So, is it Yogi Bear and
the Mistress of Bel Air? JAMELIA LAUGHS Oh, no! Gareth wins the buzzer race.
Oh, he got it. It’s Moliere. And? Yogi Bear. Next question. Who is this? And what is this song? ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO That is Susan. Chris Pine,
Sweet Child O’ Mine. PAUL: Yes!
Oh, well done! Guns N’ Roses there,
Sweet Child O’ Mine. Next question. Who is this? And what is this? Yes, Gareth? It is Gregory Porter
and a pestle and mortar. It is! Well done. Final question in this round. Oh, come on, I’ve got to get one.
Come on. Come on, Paul. You need your hand on
the button, that’s why! THEY LAUGH Jamelia? I’m probably really wrong. Stay Another Day…
Oh, no, that’s E17! When you said you’re
probably really wrong, I didn’t think you were going
to be THAT wrong. Can I just give my answer anyway?
Yeah, sure. Because I thought it was quite good. Stay Another Day and souffle. Oh, that is a good answer.
That’s quite good. That’s such a good answer to a
completely different question. Our question-writers are noting
that down. OK, good. Good. I’ve got the first bit.
I can’t get the second. I’ve got the second. Do you want to form an a…
No, cos you won’t let me. OK, so, Jamelia, we’ll time you out. Gareth? Don’t… Well, OK. On your head be it.
Oh, no, you know what…? I don’t think I’ve got the second
one right now, Gareth, so just go for it. Oh, I… It’s Never Forget… Oh, look at Calman, there. You’re absolutely…
I’m doing what he did! ..and a souffle. No! You have walked into such a trap
there. Oh! What have I done?
What have I done? Susan? Never Forget
and crepe suzette. I mean, with respect, Gareth,
that was amateurish. It was, wasn’t it? You knew she knew the second one. That’s the end of that round. Let’s take a look at the scores,
shall we? One round down on this week’s
House Of Games. JAMELIA: Well done! Shall we move straight on to
Round Two? It is… This is a pairs game. The player in last place gets to
choose their partner. Let me check, Paul, who’s in last
place. I’m hearing it’s you. But that’s why he did it.
It’s very clever. “I want to choose my partner.” You can choose anyone at all to play
with in this round. Come on, Susan. There we go!
Paul and Susan are a team. Jamelia and Gareth, you are a team. What we’ll do – I’ll ask you a
question, you buzz in and give me the answer, but I will only give you a point if
your partner can then spell that answer. Oh… OK? You see? Are you good at spelling? I’m OK. OK. OK? I’m OK. Oh, I would say confidence
is high in the studio. Good luck, everyone. Here is your
first question. Fingers on buzzers. Yes, Susan. Vacuum. Vacuum is the right answer. For a point, Paul, can you spell
vacuum? V-A-C… ..U-M… ..E. No! It is not, I’m afraid. Ah! Two Us. Next question. That is Susan. Philippines. Ooh, that is the correct answer.
This is a hard round. I’m so sorry. Right, Paul? P-H-I… ..L… ..A. Not A, I’m afraid. There’s only one L. I think there’s two Ps.
Oh, you think there’s one? Oh, rats. Two Ns? Oh, I’d have got it…
We’d have all got it wrong. I wouldn’t have got it right. I like that we’d have all got it
wrong for different reasons. Very well done if you can spell
the Philippines at home. Next question. That is Jamelia. Oh! See, I love a music question. All right, so I’d better
get this right – Jamiroquai. It is Jamiroquai. Obviously, two things – well done,
Jamelia, and good luck, Gareth. Jamiroquai, how do you spell that?
You love this. J-A… ..M ..I… ..R… ..O… RICHARD GASPS
..Q… Get out of town! ..U… ..A… ..I. Oh! Well done! High five, Gareth. High five,
that is wicked. The change in your voice once you
said O and it was O… Yeah, yeah. “I’m on the home stretch now!”
Well done. Well played. I had a Jamiroquai phase. I used
to do the dance and I wore a hat. Oh, perfect. I would love to see
some photos of that. Gareth and Jamelia,
you get a point for that. Next question. Oh, I know what this is going to be.
That is Susan. Oh, sorry. A pharaoh. Yeah, I was literally just thinking
of poor Paul. Yeah, this is another hard one. That is correct. Paul, please spell pharaoh. P… ..H… ..A… ..R… ..H… Oh, no! No, it’s not. Is it O-A-H? Yeah. Oh, I see, O. Oh! Next question. Yes, Susan. Hebrides. Thank you, Susan.
It is the Hebrides. Thank you. Paul? Paul, you must have been to the
Hebrides on “Flog It!”, have you? You’ve been everywhere. Never to the Hebrides, though. You’ve never been to the Hebrides?
Right, OK. I’ve been to Skye. We can do this. If it helps, I couldn’t spell it.
H… ..E… ..B… Come on. ..R… ..O… Oh, it’s not. “He brides,” isn’t it? That’s the end of that round.
Shall we look at the scores? It’s not going to be great, Paul. It’s not. I can honestly say…
But it’s OK. I need the dunce’s cap. There’s no corners to sit on?
No, don’t you worry about that. It’s a long old week. Here’s
the scoreboard two rounds down. Should we do another round? Yep. And it is… We’re going to spell out the lyrics
of some famous songs but in pictures, OK? You have to tell us what lyrics
these songs are from. The lyrics? And is it the name of
the song? I need the name of the song.
Name of the song. Not the artist?
Just the song title, please. All I need. Good luck, everyone. Your first song
is from the year… Oh, goodness sakes. Right. Here are the lyrics,
but what is the song? That is Jamelia. Er, These Boots Are Made For
Walkin’? No? Shall we have a little listen? Is it?! No way!
# These boots were made for walkin’ # And that’s just what they’ll do # One of these days… # What does the calendar
have to do with it? Oh, walk all over you!
You see how it works? I love the fact that you buzzed in,
got the right answer, and then all the way through
you were going, “Oh, I see. It’s that. I get it.”
I just saw the boots! SUSAN: I now understand
the point of this round. OK, I’ve got it, I’ve got it.
Now I understand. OK, we’re in. Your next song is
from the year… What is this song? Oh! Jamelia? # Upside down… Er, what’s the song called? Inside out?
# Inside out… Inside Out.
# Round and round… # Are you going to say Upside Down? Upside Down. Let’s have a look.
I couldn’t get the end. I’m going to get it wrong.
I think you’ve got it. Yay! It is. # Boy, you turn me inside out…
Boy, you turn me… ..inside out # And round and round… # Yeah! Lovely, well done. Diana Ross. You know how there are some rounds
that you just get and some you just don’t? I think this might be the one where,
when I’m at home and having a cup of tea
and watching this, I go, “Oh, that’s a pile of rubbish!”
This is the round. This is this round for me. Put the kettle on.
Yeah, I can’t get this one. Next one is from the year… What is this song? Yes, Susan. No Limits. Is it No Limits? 2 Unlimited. Let’s have a listen. # No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no # No, no, there’s no limit… # You just needed to get into my era.
Yeah, yeah, there we go. My era. Next song. It is from the year… The year I was born! Giving us
the years, like that helps. It doesn’t really help, does it?
What is this song? Susan? Oh, I thought it was 9 To 5. Is it 9 To 5? # Tumble out of bed # And stumble to the kitchen # Pour myself a cup of ambition # And yawn and stretch
and try to come to life… # Lovely, well done. I just want to hear the rest of
that song, though, don’t you? Yeah, yeah. Great song. Final song in this round
is from the year… Oh, OK. Would have been born then! Here we go. What’s this song? Yes, Jamelia? Is it that Hot Potato?
Is it Hot Potato? No! No, I know it! Can I change my answer? Oh, I know it! Urgh! I know it.
You can’t, I’m afraid. Shall we have a listen?
Mmm. Yeah. # You like potato # And I like potahto… # Oh, very good. As soon as I said it,
I was like, “Oh, you idiot!” Oh, I’m disappointed
in myself, Richard. Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald.
Full of shame. Wow! Very good. Well done if you
said that at home. I mean, to be fair, there’s
two pictures of potatoes, two pictures of tomatoes, it should
have occurred to one of us. It didn’t, though. That’s the end of that round. A good
round for Jamelia and Susan, there. Let’s take a look at the scores. I can’t look! I can’t look!
You’re all right. You’re all right. The next one’s yours, Paul.
It’s OK. The nice thing is, no-one’s
stretching into a big lead. You’re still in touch with the
leaders. They are Jamelia and Susan,
with five points each. Get in! Thank you, thank you. Two rounds to go on Monday’s
House Of Games. Round Four today is… Ha! I love this game. There we go. This is played on
your tablets. Tablets out, please. OK. We’re going to show you a map….
Mm-hmm. ..and today’s map is this. Europe. I’m going to ask you some questions
and I just need you to find the answers on that map, please. I know where I want it to be
but I don’t know if that’s it. Oh, really? Absolutely nailed it. Absolutely
nailed it. I can tell already. Absolutely nailed it. Denmark’s famous for it. Gareth, did you have an idea of
where it was? I… This was a guess, but, La Tomatina,
I was assuming Italy. South Italy. Yeah, why not? Sounds like the sort of thing
they’d do. Jamelia? What did you think? I thought it was in Spain. OK. But I had no…
This is so embarrassing. Don’t say you have no idea
where Spain is. No, I really… You’ll see. Excellent, let’s see. You’ll see. Oh, in Belgium? Wow. You see, I don’t know that
that’s Belgium. That would be easier to get to,
though. I got a D in Geography.
Like, it was terrible. You’re in the Netherlands, there.
Oh, really? OK. Paul? I’m with Gareth. Southern Italy.
You think southern Italy? Oh. There he is. Susan, what did you think? Well, Richard, I thought
it was in Spain. Now, that’s Spain, isn’t it?
That is Spain. Let’s see who is closest. Is it in Italy or is it in Spain? Or is it in the Netherlands? It’s in Spain! Oh! Susan gets the point.
Very well done. It’s in Bunol
in the Spanish region of Valencia. Next question. Can you point
to this, please? I should know this. I did watch it, actually, Richard.
So did I. But this is no advantage because I
can’t recall who they were playing. Oh, OK. Oh, my gosh. OK. Jamelia, what did you
think the answer was? So I thought it was Belgium, and I just remember, earlier,
that when I clicked, Gareth said that it was Belgium. So I’m thinking that… Ah. That’s learning. Let’s take a look where Jamelia is. The Netherlands again. Is that not Belgium?
No, it’s next to Belgium. OK, it might be close.
It’s a nice answer. I was literally waiting for you
to put it right in the middle of Spain. Paul, what did you think the answer
was? I thought it might be Croatia. OK. And do you know where Croatia is?
No, that was the problem. I’m kind of around the right area. Let’s take a little look. Where’s Paul? Paul’s there. OK. Yeah. Susan, what did you think the answer
was? Well, since the glory days of 1974,
with Ally’s Tartan Army, where we were going to win
the World Cup, I’ve taken less interest since
Scotland were slightly less good. So I said Germany. In the middle of France,
there, Susan. Is that France?! Where’s Germany? That’s what we should have called
this round. We should have called it
Where’s Germany? Gareth, where did you
think the answer was? I’ve gone with the Netherlands.
Oh, OK. But I’m slightly further south in
the Netherlands than Jamelia. Let’s see where Gareth is. Yeah, Netherlands. So you’re both in
the Netherlands. Well, I’ll tell you, the
answer was… ..Croatia. Oh, it was? And where’s Croatia? Paul? Well done, sir. Brilliant! Well done! I’m surprised I got Croatia
right on the map. If you’re going to get your first
point, that’s the way to get it. Absolutely bang on. He’s off! Final question in this round. Paul, we will start with you.
Oh, God. What did you think the answer was?
Austria. Hmm. Is that Austria?
We’ll find out. You were very good
on Croatia last time. Susan, what did you
think the answer was? OK, so, they went to Switzerland. This is what confused me, cos they went over
the mountains to Switzerland with the help of the nuns. And I think they were in Austria. From what you said before about the
fact I thought France was Germany, I assumed that Germany was
further up. So I went a bit further down because
of the Anschluss and the Alsace region to where I’ve put it,
which I think is Austria but may well be an entirely
different country. Where’s Susan? Near Switzerland, I thought.
Going near Switzerland. In the same sort of place.
Everyone thinks it’s Austria. Gareth, did you… What city was it?
Did you know? I thought it was Vienna. OK. Which is in Austria, right?
Which is in Austria. Let’s take a look. I thought
slightly over to the right. Oh, that might be Austria.
We’re all over the place here. This is lovely. Jamelia?
Save the best til last! Are you in the Netherlands again? Well, yes, but let me explain.
You are?! I am. Wow. So, I thought Switzerland… Yes. ..but I had no idea where
Switzerland is, so I thought, “Maybe it’s
near the Netherlands. “And at least now I know where the
Netherlands is so I’ll go there.” So there you are.
You’re back in the Netherlands. Brilliant. If we carried on this
round all week… ..eventually… Eventually, exactly. Although that’d be the first one
you’d go, “At some point, I’ve just got to not
go Netherlands.” Well, it was Austria. It was Salzburg. Salzburg. Which is in Austria. I can tell you, one of you is in
Austria, one of you is in Switzerland and one of you is in
the Czech Republic. Oh, I’m in the Czech Republic. And Jamelia, of course,
is in the Netherlands. But we have come to expect that. So where is Salzburg
and who has won the point? It is Susan Calman.
Well done, Susan. Nicely done. That’s the fourth round down. We’ve got one round to go. Shall
we take a look at the scores? Only just. Only just. Our final round is… Fingers on buzzers. Give an incorrect answer,
lose a point. Give a correct answer, gain a point.
Lose a point? You do lose a point, yes. OK. Be very careful, Paul, because you
worked hard for that point. I don’t want to see it disappearing. There will be a picture,
a clue underneath. Smash the answers together. Your first category – these will
be the pictures – is… Those will be the pictures,
there will be clues underneath. Susan? Er, Lilylip Sync Challenge? That is Jamelia. Tulip Sync Challenge. I’ll give you it.
It’s Tulip Synch Battle. Here is your next garden plant
and your next question. Come on, Calman. Susan?
Snapdragon’s Den. Well played. Snapdragon, Dragons’ Den, smash
them together – Snapdragon’s Den. The next category is… Oh, it’s wrong. Jamelia? Tommy Cooperpendicular? Yeah! Oh, well done! Tommy Cooper, perpendicular. That’s clever. Next picture and next clue. Yes, Gareth?
Lenny Henry IV. Next legend and next clue. Yes, Susan? June Whitfielder. Yeah, I’ll give you that. June Whitfielders, June Whitfielding
Positions. Absolutely right. Next category. KLAXON
There are no more categories. We’ve reached the end of the round,
the end of the show. Who has won Monday’s House Of Games?
Our first champion is… Susan, by one point!
Look how close it is, though! Well played! Susan, you’re our Monday champion.
Thank you very much. Congratulations, you get
your choice of prizes. Right. What of these would you like? I mean, the smoking jacket
really is not to be turned down by any self-respecting lady. Susan Calman takes home a House
Of Games smoking jacket. Congratulations! That’s what
I would have gone for. Yeah? Let’s take a look at
the weekly leaderboard. These are the points that you’ll
carry through for the rest of the week. So we’ll do it all
again tomorrow, shall we? It was very close today. We’re going to see more
than one winner this week. It’s going to be very exciting. I’ll see you all same time,
same place tomorrow. We’ll see you, as well – same time,
same place on the House Of Games. That suits you. It’s a good look.